The étoiles
The sun goes to sleep, and I finally feel like I can breathe. The world turns off their lights and I turn on mine. The family goes to bed and my real family come out – the strangers. They don’t judge or fight or talk; they simply exist.
I read a beautiful anecdote on the semi-colon in a magazine the other day. Suicide survivors often tattoo a semi colon onto their resist to show that life continues even when it seems like it has to stop, just like a semi colon giving new life to a sentence that initially seemed finished. I have to say: that brought the semi colon up in my estimation. And it’s true. Life is unpredictable. Just when you think life isn’t worth living anymore and you might as well end it because you’ve gone into the existential spiral, thinking nothing really exists anyway; just when you’ve hit rock bottom, the semi colon strikes, showing you another route, another way to keep on living. It really is beautiful. It makes you wonder…
Do we live on in the stars after we die? Sometimes I think I see him, Tim. Sometimes I think I see you, the gods, God, everyone in the sky. People we’ve lost, people who we were never sure were even there in the beginning. We see them all in the stars. It’s a comforting thought, and whilst you have les scientifiques who will tell you it’s just your eyes playing impossible tricks on you, you have the believers who know, who truly know. Quelqu’un m’a dit un jour, qu’il ne faut jamais mélanger des langues quand on écrit. Moi, je ne suis pas d’accord. Au lieu de lui, je pense à quelqu’un autre, qui m’a dit, “When I write, my hand’s not quick enough to keep up with the thoughts pouring out of my head, desperate to be put on paper”. She knows who she is 😉 I choose her advice. I started this blog to be free. To inspire people but also to let them know that it’s okay not to be okay. We’re all together in this, and more people than you would think go into existential spirals. Beautiful existential spirals that illuminate our world and make us soar high in the clouds, but those same spirals can force us plummeting into the ground, buried, unable to breathe, numb. It’s okay. The ups and downs are what make us human. It’s okay.
